The Pantless Anime Blogger has hit one million views.
This is a big occasion, right? I actually have something in the works regarding this site that I plan to reveal once I hit one million. I slowed down significantly but unfortunately, the views did not. It still climbed and I didn’t have enough time to properly work out the kinks for the big reveal. Basically, I wanted this site to have its own mascot. Some other sites have them so I wanted to have one of my own. I used up all my stock photos of Mix so I needed a new face for this site. I basically decided to create a character of my own. All my time learning about different character designs is finally put to good use. Of course, you are welcome to insult me on how bad I draw or something.
Anyways, I want everyone to meet “The Girl in Summer Shorts”.
GISS. Yes, I wanted to go with that name on purpose.
Basically the big plan for GISS is to provide some commentary on a few of my reviews. She’ll often give some one-liners about a certain anime and such. We may even have a conversation or something. The possibilities are limitless. She’ll also have her own section in a review where she sums up an anime in a few words or so. This depends on how productive I am though. Making her in flash is hard and I forgot how to play around with flash so I think she’ll have a delay appearance. Once I worked out the kinks though then the world better be prepared for some GISS.
I wanted to do more for this big milestone though. Every time I celebrate my anniversary, I usually do a top ten post about the things I learned as an anime reviewer. I wanted to do the same thing for this milestone but with a different topic. I figured it’s time I try a new approach and tell you some stuff about TPAB. These are things that I don’t really share with people. They’re just random tidbits though but I hope it’ll help you become more familiar with The Pantless Anime Blogger and his goal of one thousand reviews. This one will actually be a countdown but I’m making up things as I go along so let’s just get on with this top ten. This is top ten things about The Pantless Anime Blogger. Enjoy.
10. Ecchi persists
As an anime reviewer, I always love it when certain reviews are viewed by a lot of people. It tells me that they are really interested in a particular show and I have done my part in spreading the love. I was able to convince people to read a review and hopefully, capture their interest that they might watch the show as well.
It’s a bit depressing though when you realize people have viewed my post on Hagure no Yuusha no Estetica a total of 10,000 times. I’m not even proud of that review. It’s one of those awkward reviews I did when I was still trying to discover my own personal writing style. It’s evident that people visited that review because of the screenshots. Those dirty screenshots helped this review I’m not proud of become the most viewed post in my site. You know what breaks my heart the most?
The top five most read post are all f*cking Ecchi anime.
What the hell people? I spent two days on my review of Boku wa Minna Kawaisou. Where’s the love for that one? Sometimes I think I should just go all Ecchi on this site but luckily, I’m not in it for the views. It just goes to show you though. Ecchi persists and it’s a lesson I take to heart. Whenever I post an Ecchi anime, I always make sure I take as many dirty nude screenshots because a lot of closet perverts visit my site for it. I’m like an otaku pimp and I’m not proud of it.
9. Haruhi Suzumiya
A fresh out of high school dude was introduced to the world of pirated DVDs. In the Phillippines, only the truly rich can buy original stuff. Most people purchase pirated media and the country is OK with it. I’m stealing though and I am ashamed of it. Anyways, this dude was also recently introduced to updated anime and the first show he popped on his DVD is The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. The story, the characters and the overall feel of the anime delighted him so much that he finished the anime in one sitting. I think it’s because of the hypnotizing dance but thanks to Haruhi, this guy soon vowed to tell the rest of the world the beauty of this anime. He’s a massive anti-social freak though so he just quietly nods at forum posts celebrating the anime.
Long story short, Haruhi is the anime that made TPAB become an anime reviewer. He lacks the proper grammar though (and he still does) and confidence to write a review so he just let the professionals handle it. This guy has a big desire to just ramble on about his favorite anime though and he eventually went to this site called myIGN. He started from there and eventually took of his pants. He did it all because he thought Haruhi Suzumiya was the bestest anime ever forever ever. I was an enthusiastic f*ck back then and it’s funny how one show turned the cogs for this humble reviewer.
8. Harvest Moon
I am a big Harvest Moon fan. I love Back to Nature the most. I lived on turnips for the first month until I was able to buy a chicken and then save enough money to buy flower seeds to attract bees into my farm. I hated the following installments because they turned the difficulty down. I don’t like how I budget my time trying to pick all the bamboo shoots before 10 AM while the new games clocks by every minute and you have a lot of things to forage in the wild. The newer Harvest Moons looks lazy compared to Back to Nature. Anyways, this game taught me the most important thing in life: Repetition and how not to get tired of it. I now have a job and it does get tiring at times. I think back to when I’m playing Harvest Moon though. The character is able to wake up at 6 AM every gawd damn morning and milk his cows before seven AM. If that little go getter can do it then I can do it as well. I actually base my entire motivation of Harvest Moon. I was able to save money for an expansion in my house then I can also save money for my education once I pursue a degree.
Harvest Moon is also my prime motivation to keep up being TPAB and pursue his goal. It’s attainable but, as you can see, it’s pretty damn hard. It’s as hard as trying to make money off bamboo shoots and turnips but it’s something I know I can do.
So yes, a video game taught me an important lesson about life.
7. (I think) I’m elitist
I’m not really sure myself but I think I come off as one. It’s the main reason why I don’t interact with other bloggers. I know I have a sour attitude whenever I hit the comments. I’m not really trying to sound like a douche but I often come off as one. It’s really my anti-social freak side. I’m a quite person in real life that is only learning now how to make small talk. In the internet, I am also the same freak. I don’t reply back on comments (but I am forcing myself to now), I don’t participate in blog carnivals, I often come off as a jerkwad whenever someone tag me for something and I don’t comply. I don’t even comment on other people’s blog. I usually don’t because I simply don’t have anything to say. I can often spot insincere “nice posts” comments and I don’t want to do the same. I simply don’t comment because I have nothing to say but I know this can be misconstrued as if I’m this jerk who thinks I simply don’t care. Of course, this isn’t true. I read a lot of blogs from other people but I just don’t really comment on them. You can get your “nice post” comments from someone else. I am trying to change this anti-social side of mine though. I often don’t like it when I offend people and I bet you think it’s stupid. Someone on the internet is afraid of hurting other people’s feeling. This is mostly the reason I don’t interact though. Let’s be fair, some people are petty. A simple remark would get you blocked, a simple criticism of their work would set off fireworks and some people are like on their periods always ready to type “I’m offended” or veer the topic into feminism. I don’t want to be part of it but I think I should, what do you think?
I think I am elitist though because I am major anti-mainstream. Whenever someone says an anime is good, I often find a reason not to watch it. I want to look for good things on my own and feel happy that not a lot of people know it exists. I also have this defense mechanism for popular shows. I have tried the big three (Naruto,Bleach and One Piece) but, as you can see, I have never once mentioned them in my review. I think I took a few jabs at Naruto but it’s subtle. I have this weird allergy for mainstream stuff and I like the more obscure stuff. I think elitist is not the right word for it but I’m definitely weird. I guess you have to be if you want to be the pantless anime blogger.
6. Sean Baby and WrestleCrap
We all started from somewhere. My writing style is something I actually play around with but my primary inspiration would have to be Cracked.com articles from Seanbaby and those crap inductions from Wrestlecrap.com. They both have a style of being both funny and informative without alienating anybody. Even if I don’t know jacksh*t about videogames, Seanbaby is still able to make me laugh while also give me a clear background of what I am laughing at. I basically try to achieve the same things with my review. Of course, I go overboard with the words but I always make sure they can be read by someone familiar and unfamiliar with the show I am reviewing. I am not as good as Seanbaby, obviously, but it’s thanks to his funny articles that TPAB is able to develop his own writing style.
I am a huge wrestling fan and I always frequent Wrestlecrap.com. I don’t know the writers name. I’m sorry. They all write the same and often come off as unfunny in the same style. One of the writers once wrote about how he used to have trouble coming up with things to say in an induction. Sometimes, they only have 250 words in it and then he went “hey, that’s 250 words already”. With Wrestlecrap, I learn how to segue way my reviews into other things. It’s basically the same as having a causal conversation with yourself or your reader. Wrestlecrap does it a lot when they insult a wrestler. Thanks to them, I can talk about the studio, the genre and anything else that is related with the show. It comes naturally because I’m literally moving my mouth as I type this. First time reviewers would often find it hard to start a review. I know by heart that the first paragraph is the hardest one to write. Reading those inductions though helped me understand how to open a review. I also have 1000 tries so I think I’ll eventually get it.
If there’s one thing I am stumped in though. It’s my grammar. My friend once told me I mix my tenses. For a dude that can barely speak English, I’m mostly just glad I can write so many words and still make sense. I just can’t learn consistently using the right tenses though and I don’t think I ever will. I’m sorry. I’m not perfect.
5. A Pantless Alliance
Here’s something personal that no one knows about this site.
This was supposed to be a group blog.
Two guys and one girl were supposed to run this site. I would be doing reviews while the girl would be doing manga reviews and the other guy would do vlogs about random stuff. He is super charismatic so I always believed he can make the site popular just by his posts. We came up with a cool sounding name with otaku in it but I don’t remember it. I don’t want them to read this and realize that I’ve gone solo but we were classmates in one random subject and we all liked anime. Since it’s the only topic we liked as a group, one of us came up with an idea of doing a group blog. We planned things out. The artsy girl came up with a great logo and the vlog boy was doing practice videos while we figure out what needed to be done for the script. As a silent guy, I just went along with everything they planned. For reviews, I actually didn’t plan on writing one because we had other things to showcase. We had a great idea that would’ve been fun to do.
Why didn’t it happen? We had a falling out.
Actually, the two of them had a falling out. Vlogger and artsy girl dated. I was fine being third wheel but vlogger is an absolute slut that his friendly conversing comes off as flirting for the artsy girl. I told her she’s just jealous but that didn’t calm her. They fought, they didn’t talk to each other and I was forced to pick a side. I went with my bro while I had a close friend console the hoe. Things got nasty with a public fight in front of other students in the middle of an intersection and they vowed never to speak with each other ever again. They still talk to each other though. I, on the other hand, went back to my province so I can take care of my mother thus the pantless alliance never came to fruition. I think the two of them is planning on doing the group blog again but I quietly declined with them unaware I am the pantless anime blogger.
It should be noted that most of the things I said in the story is made up just so no one figures out who is who. Anonymity, bitches.
Back when I was a silent internet stalker nodding at forums, I was also an active MAL member. Back in its early days, MAL is actually a conjugation of anime enthusiasts. Sure, the fanboys are there but there is also a productive discussion among fellow anime lovers. The reviewers actually respected each other and they would have meaningful talks among each other about an anime. I also frequently visit for the reviews and the one I liked reading the most would have to be tehnominator’s. Did I spell that right? Her reviews are a blend of smart narrative and a little bit of ego that is helpful enough to convince people to watch an anime. I mostly opted to become TPAB because Tehnominator stopped reviewing anime. She deleted her reviews and I don’t really know why. We’re not close. I was just eavesdropping on her comments and enjoy her reviews. Let’s just say that I was heavily inspired by her reviews. It’s thanks to her that TPAB is here today.
MAL is also never the same once those respectable reviewers left. All the reviews on MAL are now filled with fanboy love that it’s hard to stomach. Some of them would even bully other reviewers about how wrong their opinion is. Some would make alt accounts just to make sure their review remains on the top page viewed when you look up the anime. It’s not as fun as it used to be. Being an anti-social freak with low esteem, I knew I would never write my reviews in MAL. It’s a good thing too because my reviews are too damn long for MAL standards.
Anyways, I hope I also inspire other people to passionately write reviews as much as I was inspired by one MAL reviewer’s work. I know other people are copying my style though. I’m still the stalker I started out as, you bastards.
3. Behind the name
The Pantless Anime Blogger. That was a name made up in the heat of the moment. While looking on animenano about ideal anime sites, I realized two things. One, the word “otaku” is used too many times and there are no more smart variations for “anime reviewer”. Two, there are a lot of themed blogs. I blame Marina down at AnimeB&B for this. She has a really cute site and I wanted to do a themed blog as well thanks to her blog. For some stupid reason that I regret to this day, I thought of pants. My mind then shifted to pantless and then a themed blog about clothes. It’ll have a “sock drawer rambling” posts, a “kilted sweater editorial” posts and other stupid sh*t like that. Oh gawd, my brain then had a bright idea. Let’s call it the pantless anime blogger.
It was brilliant at the time. No one is using this variation of words in a blog and it sounds unique for a reviewer. The name is also funny enough to attract people into clicking my site. I bet they’re disappointed to find out it was a f*cking anime review site. I think that’s why the Ecchi posts are so popular. Wouldn’t you like to read something dirty from a pantless person? Ah, that sounds horrible. As you can see, I don’t like the name but I’m kinda stuck with it. People know who TPAB is and changing it now would be something a half-baked weakling with no sense of courage would do. At least I’m not alone now. I have GISS who I now realized is strangely associated with that “pants on head retarded” meme. F*ck you, I’m not changing anything!!!!
2. Every anime given the same treatment
This one is fairly obvious for some people. Even I am a bit impatient with myself stubbornly sticking to one lineup when there are tons of great anime in the next lineup. Long before I started this site, when I was just this silent internet stalker, I always look up reviews from more obscure shows. I’m kinda weird like that. One of my favorite anime would be Hitohira. I bet you’ve never heard of it. It’s a pretty unknown show. A long time ago, whenever I look up anime that aren’t that popular in google, I often come up with nothing. No one is talking about the anime that I love. To my annoyance, if I do find a review, they’d often be negative. This was a trend back in the day. The more negative you are then the more popular you are. Anime elitism was a cool thing back then. There were a lot of close minded people who would write how an anime didn’t appeal to their taste. They’d talk about it in two paragraphs and then call that slop job a review. They aren’t really informative and they often kill the enthusiasm of anyone trying to see if it’s a good show. One of my main goals in this site is to really give everything a chance. I do not want to be like those close minded elitist who seem to have some sort of sexual release for hating on anime other people love. It just comes off though as if you have no respect for yourself or others. This anime site is basically created to cater to my needs. I write reviews that I would read and I would make sure it’s helpful and fair. To everyone like me who likes alternative stuff, I want you to see a review that gives everything a fair shake. The main stream ones and the ones overshadowed by the mainstream are given the same overly lengthy review to properly give the show a decent review.
This has often bitten me in the ass countless times. My insistence that everything be reviewed fairly often gets me in some deep balls. In my short time as a reviewer, I grew to hate slice of life anime. I also have a really big hatred for otome anime that I don’t think I can ever quell. I am also starting to get sick of light novel anime and I often feel bored if the anime isn’t made by Production IG. I often have to pull something out of a hat to give a “meh” anime a decent review. This is the side effect of being TPAB. I tell you, once I finish my 1000 goal, I probably won’t be touching anime for a long time. My primary motivation is that I know there is someone like me out there trying to look up a review of Yuushibu and I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing I was able to help people out.
In my insistence to be fair, I also make sure my review structure is neat. I bet you don’t notice it but writing a review nowadays take some f*cking time. I need to make sure each paragraph has its own topic to talk about so people can skip certain parts of the review they don’t want to read. I need to make sure spoilers are also contained while making sure I am selling the anime to readers. If I can make you watch a harem anime and get you so engaged that you hate me for the show’s bad ending then I just did my job well. I also need to make sure I get a lot of screenshots because I know a lot of people will never read my review but they want to look at the pictures. People new to the anime often just looks at a picture then the right one would often fill them with intrigue so you need to take decent screenshots for that. People familiar with the anime though who dropped it some time ago would need a reason to pick it back up so I make sure every section of the show is properly described. I need to do all this while making sure fans of the show feel proud their anime is being defended while I make sure I stay impartial. For the pursuit of fairness and to make sure every anime gets the same treatment, being the pantless anime blogger is often a job I find so very tiring. It’s also very fulfilling though.
1. If I can do 1000 reviews…
This one is extremely personal. This one thousand anime review goal of mine is really a way to get my life back together. I know it myself. Sometimes I put too much effort in a post that not a lot of people will read. Some of my best posts are only read a hundred time while f*cking Ecchi posts gets four digits. Sometimes, I put too much effort in a show so unknown that no one will bother watching it. In a sense, I am doing something meaningless with very little reward. There is no money in this journey and I’m not in it for the popularity. This one thousand anime goal of mine is really just for me. I always tell myself that if I can do one thousand anime reviews then I can succeed with anything else I try in my life.
I was depressed for three years. After I graduated, I didn’t really know what to do with my life. Being an anti-social freak, I also don’t know how to seek help. I spent three years living like a NEET and it was horrible. I hated myself and I know life is passing me by. My friends are all happy with their work and their life while I am at home just getting dangerously obese. I just did nothing but surf the net and watch anime. My family is supportive though and they know I’ll get out of this funk. One night though, it hit me hard. “TPAB, you are a f*cking quitter and people who quit don’t have the right to be depressed.”
I need to do something productive with my life so I turn to the one thing I know I love: anime. Since I’m doing nothing at home, I said to myself that I should just take up blogging. After a few stalking of popular blogs, I decided to become a reviewer. Things magically aligned that night and I soon decided to have a one thousand anime goal. If I can do one thousand reviews then I can do anything with my life. That is like my mantra for the coming of the years.
If I can do one hundred reviews then I can go to the gym and lose this weight.
F*ck, if I can do one fifty reviews then I can find a job as well.
I wrote two hundred reviews, I can ask this pretty girl out.
I wrote two hundred reviews, I can drown my misery in alcohol for being rejected by this pretty girl and still pick myself up in the morning.
If I can do one thousand anime reviews then I can find a suitable career for myself, save enough money and point towards the direction of Japan and say “I’ll buy tentacle porn there someday”.
That was three years ago. Thanks to this site, I was able to overcome my depression. I now have a fulfilling job and I am losing some weight. Just some small pounds though because anime requires being on your ass for a long time.
Anyways, I don’t blog for others. I don’t do it for popularity or whatever sense of accomplish there is in aniblogging. I simply do it for myself. It may take decade to finish this goal. That’s alright. This blog’s success coincides with my life’s success and that’s what’s important to me.
Thank you for being part of my personal journey.
Let’s all enjoy them pants-less. Peace.